And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
