I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
