What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
