blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
