I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
