If i come over, it means nothing
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
