Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
