yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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