shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
