I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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