I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
