took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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