Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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