I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
