so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
