Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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