How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
