Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
