piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
