The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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