Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
