How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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