As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
