the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
