She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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