Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
