..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
