last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
