Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
