This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
