omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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