it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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