handjob tips. give me some.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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