Jerry, you need to find god
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
