He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
