Pappa wants mamma naked
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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