I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
