Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
