I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
