Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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