how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
