he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
