Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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