I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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