eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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