he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
