doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
