just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
