Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My vagina is officially offended.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
