I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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